DANGER! The Side Effects of Dating

There are some great things one can get from a relationship - even a failed one - benefits that include expanded skill sets and knowledge that four years of college could hardly touch. We often don't even realize all we've gotten from a relationship until we are well out of it and into the next one. And it's often that next relationship that highlights what we've gained. An expanded art collection, for instance. Or a better understanding of fiber-rich foods. How to properly cook an omelet. An appreciation of Scandinavian design. Not to mention what you learn in the sack after being with someone for a while. Those are skills that can be most useful, some may dispute. Some people learn whole other languages, travel to the far reaches of the earth for one another or network through their partner to advance their careers before deciding to finally end it all and move on to the next relationship. I know I never would've hiked the Rockies, learned to careen myself down the treacherous hills of Central Park on Rollerblades or found the profundity in zombie movies had I not been in my last relationship.

Then there are the things you can get from a relationship that aren't so great: A regrettable tattoo. A venereal disease. A coke addiction. 50 pound free weights in the back of your closet. An extreme visceral reaction to Obsession For Men....and FAT.

Yep. There is something that happens when you are dating someone you dig. It's all about indulgence. You drink way too much, make out until your lips are raw, sacrifice nights of sleep because you can't stop 'doing it' and eat dessert after every meal. Chocolate never tastes better than when you pair it with wine and a good make-out...in bed. It's easy to pack on the pounds and not realize what's going on until you're well into the relationship and both of you realize you're chubbier than you were when you first met....

I'm dating someone regularly now and noticing us already falling into a pattern of food worship. I always seem to date people who love food as much or more than myself. (which is saying something since I really flippin' love to eat).

You can't diet and date (at least in the beginning) - it doesn't really go together. It's hard enough for people trying to date who don't drink. But those who don't eat? Forget it. How annoying is it to be out with someone who just picks at their food or isn't satisfied with anything on their plate or just plain has food issues? It's a huge turn-off. And it seems to me indicative of how they might be in the Passion Department. These are people who don't know pleasure, right? Eating delicious food is one of life's great pleasures that's even better if shared. And it's one of the greatest advantages to living in New York - the numerous amazing restaurants everywhere you look. It's incredible we're not all 300 pounds here. So you have to leave your Weight Watchers points calculator at home when you're on a date. Good luck calculating the points in half a pitcher of Sangria, four olives, three slices of brick oven pizza and 6 bites of Tartufo. And good luck trying to remember all that after the Sangria pitcher.

I might as well resign myself to gaining a half a pound a date or three dress sizes by summer's end or, wait a second...this may not work out after all. I'm not sure if I'm willing to sacrifice my waistline with bikini season coming up and all. We may have to reel this gastronomic affair in a little and replace it with a lot more fooling around. That burns tons of calories, right?