There Is Such a Thing as Too Much Tongue.

Imagine, if you will, a lady (YES, that'd be me, I am a lady) having a perfectly lovely evening sharing a delicious spread of Tapas and getting a little boozy from a fancy bottle of French wine, reminiscing about a favorite outdoor concert at the South Street Seaport last summer and along comes a totally unsolicited four inch tongue. Down my throat. Really! That is uncalled for. The kissing part in the restaurant, I don't mean. I'm fine with that as long as we keep it classy (meaning no boob action and not for too long, I have my standards). But the crazy snake-like tongue gunning for my tonsils? Gross out. What's a girl to do in that situation? Apparently, see if she can tame that tongue with her own into submission. This mission was not accomplished, however and I believe the fella got the wrong idea and decided I was really into it. Who can blame him? I matched his moves and then some trying to make it work. That could sober a girl up real fast.

We all know there is an art to kissing but you never realize how much until you come across someone who really doesn't have it together. I fancy myself pretty skilled in this area so I figure I can speak to this topic with some authority. Kissing is powerful. It's the precursor to sex and possibly representative of how one will be in bed. How else can you explain that single, powerful make-out session that leads to the Deal being Sealed soon after? I know for certain I can be seduced by a talented smoocher. Who can't? It'll either heat things up, stat or cool those jets....stat. In this case, my jets were so, totally cooled. And the night was cut a tad short.

(it has been brought to my attention that I need to include a little more background info for each date. Here goes...)

Stats:
Charming Chap (not so charming after that weird tongue business, guy)
2nd Date - Moroccan/Spanish restaurant - English fellow, 42, hedge-fund blah di wah. Handsome but a bit stuffy (style-wise) for my tastes. Admitted veteran of internet dating. A smidge too eager and pretty nosy about past relationships - why they ended, who ended it, etc. He tried that on the first date and it was an extreme turn-off. He also asked me if I ever tried heroin, which I thought was pretty odd. I struggled with accepting a second date but wanted to give it chance...I think I fulfilled that.